“Every one of us needs to show how much we care for each other and, in the process, care for ourselves.”— Princess Diana
What do you think of when you read the words self care? Is it a calming bubble bath or a walk outside? Do you feel like its a waste of time that you could be doing "something productive"? Some of us are taught that mental health is not real health Here's the thing, when we are in an airplane and the flight attendant is showing everyone the ropes, what do they always say? Put your mask on before helping others. You are obligated to save yourself before saving someone else. Mental health and self care is no different. If you ignore your mental health needs, eventually it will catch up to you. This can cause you to feel mentally fatigued and overwhelmed among others.
What does self care look like?
That is entirely up to you. For some, sitting in their car after work may make a huge difference, for many, recognizing and maintaining boundaries can have a positive outcome. Self care isn't just taking a walk outside, it can be saying no to someone demanding more of your time, acknowledging and processing your emotions or even meditation and breathing between customers. Taking care of the body we are in, by getting enough sleep (whatever that may look like for you) and eating fulfilling and yummy foods. Whatever it looks like, the activity/ies would be something to fill your emotional cup, wash your spoons or put your mask on.
In general, there are different types of self care (there are variations out there as well):
Emotional/Mental/Intellectual: stress management, counseling, creative activities such as painting, drawing, music or writing. This can also include learning/trying something new, setting boundaries, listening to yourself and your needs via self exploration/awareness.
Physical: Exercise, eating regularly, sleeping, going to the doctor
Social: Taking time to see and connect with others, creating and maintaining healthy boundaries, Balancing time with others, recharge time if needed
Spiritual: Practices that nurture your soul – it doesn’t have to involve religion but can if that's what you need. Reflection, Nature, and connection
Professional: Setting boundaries and finding a work-life balance. Sometimes, I provide my clients with homework. One of the go-to tasks is to do
some sort of creative activity such as drawing, painting or writing. When the task is to write, it could be in the form of a free write, a letter, or even a poem if the mood strikes you. What many don't realize is that the act of writing down your emotions, and/or thoughts can provide a much needed breath of fresh air. I understand finding those moments to write can be difficult, for self care to work, you have to make time. You have to understand that you are going to need to make an appointment with yourself and give your mind what it needs.
I am with you though, its hard to keep track of all the 7000 things you have to do on any given day. I forget to do self care sometimes as well, and when I do? I can feel the difference, this meat suit does not feel good. I feel sluggish, fatigued and overwhelmed at things that I typically can handle when I am taking time for myself. It took me a long time to figure out what works for me, and there are times where my tried and true doesn't give me what I need. Its a process. I used to think playing videogames was great self care. While I love a good videogame, I have come to realize that it is more of a distraction than a fulfillment activity. It allows me to turn my brain "off" and not deal with what I'm stressed about, but what happens when I am done playing? The stress is still there and I haven't provided myself the emotional energy to handle it any better. Do I still play videogames? Absolutely, do I think its a self care activity? Absolutely not. For me, as of late, I sit outside. I close my eyes, take a deep breath and try to focus on the flowers, bees, birds around me. This may be for 5 minutes, it could be for an hour, but either way it helps me feel grounded. Giving myself permission to be, in the moment without anyone or anything else has given me an outlet that allows me to just breathe.
Check in with yourself today and see what you need. Listen to your mind and body and if you feel overwhelmed, give yourself a second to breathe. Your body and mind will love you for it.
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